Life at 25

So. It's been a while Blog. I don't truly think it is possible to be able to recount the past 3 years, I could try but I'm afraid my life has never been simple enough to bullet point into one blog.
Nor do I want to begin dedicating posts to my past.
Cue first difference from the old me to the new me-my rule of no regrets no longer exists.
Maybe it's my age? My late teens were full of 'so what?'s, 'you only live once!' and 'No regrets!'

Is it me, or is it just not that simple anymore? 

I suffered from an eating disorder for about 2 years during my early 20's. I experienced some of the darkest moments of my life, I discovered issues I never knew existed. I know there's so many people out there who will know what I'm talking about and I'm hoping there are many out there who got through the other end just like me. I was extremely lucky to have a beautifully caring best friend and a close knit family who didn't give up on me. To them I am forever thankful.

Little did I know that phase of my life wasn't the hardest. What scares me the most is that there are worse things to go through, there are worse things that could happen to me and I just don't know how much more strength I have left. There are days when I feel so much hope. The realisation that I got through an eating disorder, I can get through this. The light at the end of the tunnel seems just at the tip of my fingers.

And there are days like this where I feel like throwing in the towel and screaming out for help. For someone to just switch my brain for a new one. Delete the hardcoded mistakes and habits i've accumulated.

I'm talking about my anxiety disorder. My claustrophobia. My hypochondriac attitude. Being the daughter of a therapist (oh the irony) I am fully aware of my disorders. This does not in any way make them easier to handle. The only way I can see my knowledge serving me is by keeping me just on the edge of not going completely insane. Perhaps if i was in denial I could at least live in my own little bubble and think all of these things were completely normal.

What is normal? I hear you exclaim! Now I'm not asking to be 'normal', I've never been one to want to be like everyone else. All I'm asking for is to be able to talk to my friends without wondering if my heart was about to stop. To be able to have a sip of alcohol without thinking it's going to turn me into some uncontrollable monster and I'll stop breathing. To be able to obtain from ripping my jumper off and then scrambling it back on when I experience my 15th hot flush in the last 5 minutes. To be able to laugh to the point of nearly weeing myself without thinking I'm having a heart attack.

The list could go on. I might even start a blog about the list of irrational thoughts and worries, perhaps it will make them less scary.

It's not all doom and gloom, in fact, I am writing this because I have finally got to a place where I'm not scared to write. I practice Mindfulness Meditation and swear by it. If it wasn't for that and my incredible Therapist, I'm pretty sure I'd still be at square one rocking in a ball in the corner of my room... poor attempt at a joke, I don't think I've ever actually done that... but it's the cliche image isn't it!?

I have an incredible partner, which is all I ever wanted, looking back at my old posts, I have and always will be in love with Love.

I'm on my road to recovery and I would love to hear from anyone else out there who's on theirs.

Until next time.

Peace and Love.


Ria x

My Hong Kong Tattoo

As planned Amy-lou and I wanted to get our next tattoos together, I'm a strong believer in tattoos having meanings and holding memories with them. 

After researching where in Hong Kong there is a decent, trustworthy place to get tattooed, Star Crossed Tattoo was mentioned the most. 

And rightly so as they were brilliant, professional, creative and honest. 

I would strongly recommend anyone visiting or living in Hong Kong considering a tattoo to pop over to Tsim Sha Tsui, 10 minutes from the station down Granville Rd. 

Check out their website: Star Crossed Tattoo

Our tattooist Jack was funnily enough from Cornwall! Amy-lou's home land, the world is really a small place! Apart from his cool warm manner, his talent in design was pleasantly impressive. 

I wanted a tattoo that meant something to me personally and went with the tribal theme I seem to have picked up somewhere along the 22 years of my life... So I chose to ink myself with patriotic pride and take the sun from the Argentina flag. 

Amy-lou had been umming and ahhing for a while including mixes of feathers, birds and cantonese symbols, with the honest opinion of our tattooist, she ended with a beautiful feather, simple!

Amy-Lou's feather.

MaySun.

The Sun on the Argentina flag represents the month of May. Pronounced 'Mason' this in chinese means God of Beauty. 

We highly recommend Jack at Star Crossed Tattoo. Great artist and has a lovely face too. Win! 

Ria 

x

My Hong Kong Adventure

To all fellow bloggers: I apologise for the lack of blogging commitment. Somehow I have neglected my dear little blog, which will now excuse my need for an epic blog.


The Giant Buddha


One of the World's Wonders, a must when visiting the East, The Giant Buddha is like seeing a mass of tranquility. Needless to say, I was anything but tranquil on the way there. For those with random spouts of anxiety you will understand where I am coming from, for others you will think I am a complete and utter tit who didn't make the most out of the visit. 


In order to get to the Giant Buddha, you must either a) get a bus or b) get the Ngong Ping 360 degree view cable car. So b it was. We even opted for the "crystal cable car" which meant not only could you see the epic view from the sides, if you looked down, you were walking on trees. Brilliant stuff for an ex-clostrophobic with a tendency to enter panic mode in any hint of danger. 


All was well until the doors fully shut and it hit me; the only way I was going to be leaving this glass cabin within the next 25 minutes was if I were to jump 500m to my death. The hyperventilating begun and i was soon sobbing, swearing and sweating for dear life. 
My lovely friend Lee Mason documented this journey, and to my delight, created a wonderful trailer and full video. Lucky for Lee, I can laugh at myself! 


Click for: Trailer and Video


So after what seemed an absolute eternity, we reached the beautiful sitting Buddha.

It goes without saying, my epic panic attack was well worth the epic wonder that is
The Giant Buddha. 


Mm Goy Sai ( Thank you in Cantonese ) 


Ria 
x

New Romantic

Being in Love... with Love.
Dreaming as a ten year old, you imagine the day that your prince will come whisk you away and you'll both gallop off into the distance named happily ever after.
This prince, of course will be your perfect man; funny, kind, generous, creative, handsome and above all romantic.

Long loving relationships, disgustingly painful heartbreaks, lusting summer flings and a few occasional drunken stumbles later and your find yourself falling out of Love with Love.
This new generation of independent women who don't actually want or need a boyfriend, is it sad? Have our hearts turned stone cold as a result of this fast pacing 'love life' we seem to accumulate? Have we decided to ignore Love in a bid to dodge any incoming heartbreaks? Have our careers replaced Love?

And so I return to my trusting Carrie...

"But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you, you love, well, that's just fabulous"

Laura Marling- New Romantic.. an inspiring song for all those fellow "Independent" women out there...

Ria
x

Carey Mulligan...

This amazingly talented Actress is round about where I would like to be in about 5 years time... The connection she creates with the viewer is pure talent.
Beautiful in every way
Carey Mulligan, the next Audrey Hepburn...

♥

Carrie Bradshaw...

She may be fictional... But she is there 100% for us ladies when we need her.
I can understand the male point of view, Sex and the City? It's just a bunch of man-hating slags who like to do lunch and cocktail it up.
But it's oh so much more than that! Every issue that is raised in this programme feels like it's being read out of the viewers diary. We completely relate to what these wise women are feeling and we lap it up, just like the sharks we are.

Here's a select few of my favourite quote's.

"When you're young, your whole life is about the pursuit of fun. Then, you grow up and learn to be cautious. You could break a bone or a heart. You look before you leap and sometimes you don't leap at all because there's not always someone there to catch you. And in life, there's no safety net."

"Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous"

And my all time fave...

"Maybe some women aren't meant to be tamed. Maybe they need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with."

And with that, I shall carry on running...

♥

Regina Spektor...

This lyrically talented lady has been an absolute saviour to all my down days.
I can remember the first time I heard her voice.
Sitting in my tiny box of a room at Avery Hill Campus. It was Spring time and going through possibly the worst year of my life I spent most of my time perched on my window sill smoking my lungs out...
One of these days, sitting on my sill in the company of my other saviour (Amy-Lou) We hear the distinctive tune of 'Fidelity' coming from a neighbouring window in the courtyard.
It was Love at first hearing!
Amy-lou then introduced me to the rest of her album and I have been hooked ever since.

Regina Spektor- You are a Genius. Thank you for everything <3