My Memory Box

Ok, so some people may find this weird and some people may completely relate to this. But I love making memory boxes.
Perhaps it ties in with keeping a diary for a large amount of my life, I just like to document things and hold onto memories long after they're created.
I have a memory box containing items from my 5 year old self to my 11 year old self. I have a memory box containing years of teenage notes passed through class. I even have a memory box (or several) dedicated just to birthdays and christmas cards and handwritten letters from relatives/pen pals.
I then have my dedicated boxes to the loves of my life. Well, the have beens, the present and the desired.
I'm telling you all this because my partner and myself are buying a house together, so amidst the months of legal documents exchanging, we are having to squeeze in to my parents house. The room which I grew up in to be exact.
So as I tend to fill my life with memories, I am at times faced with ones which I don't think are necessarily good for my heart. Coming across a past loves memory box just now filled me with anything but happiness.
Seeing the broken promise of 'I will love you forever' in countless Valentines cards just simply clarified that anyone can say these things. Words can be given to you and mean so much in that moment, but mean something completely different years later.

Do you know what I wish? I wish I could be one of those people that could just grab this memory box, throw it in the fire and watch it burn away. Creating a therapeutic cremation to wash away the heartbreak.

But I just don't think that's me. My love for Love, will always be strong, no matter how many heartbreaks I had I always seemed to find Love. Variations of Love of course, but the passion was always there in some way or another.

It feels odd seeing all these little memories I accumulated from a past relationship when I'm in such a loving one now. Why do I need this box? What use is it to me now? How would I feel if my partner had such a box dedicated to a past Love?

I don't know the answer, I just know that those little items meant enough to me to put into a box. Those 5 years of relationship with said ex meant enough to me to not want to erase. Perhaps it was the way things ended, unfinished business and all that. I often say he is a ghost to me, he cut me out and I mourned for him. Like he had died. Perhaps that's why I can't burn the box?

My posts seems to be heading down a morbid route, which after my previous post, I would have hoped to have been a tad more positive!

The underlying fact is: I love LOVE.

I have a 'Lew Box' in which I will never stop treasuring our memories together. For to share such a loving passionate connection with someone is simply the most precious memory a girl can have.

Peace and Love

Ria x